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M., we get a call from a guy who just had an argument with his wife and want’s some stress relief. A short time later, he is pumping his sperm into my wife’s belly.Knowing that this milestone was quickly approaching, we received many inquiries but none really clicked with us. My brother (who gets his turn with my wife several times a year) is in the military and actually led us to “Mr. Right”.The ManJames is a 26 year old soldier for the U.S. Army. Two years ago, while deployed, he lost his left arm and mangled his right hand in an explosion. His wife left him and he has been struggling with finding a soul mate. He is close friends with my brother and we learned that he has not had sex in two years. He can’t even effectively masturbate. Knowing this information, coupled with my wife’s fondness for our military, she chose him.The SceneThis one took some thought. I chose this location because of my wife’s very religious background. Outside of a small Western Pennsylvania town is a. You don’t want low-income housing in your neighborhood, tough luck, the Emperor has decreed it will be built. Have a tax loophole that makes your corporation not pay taxes? Not anymore, Emperor Thrinklebopple has declared you owe taxes.This would ultimately introduce a golden age that lasted a thousand years, until Emperor Theodore J. Dunkleflopper contracted rabies before naming a successor, resulting in a civil war. But that’s a story for another time.After four years, Emperor Thrinklebopple was sitting behind his desk reviewing the latest important documents when his chief advisor, Literally Actually Satan, approached him.“Emperor Thrinklebopple,” began Literally Actually Satan, “Have you given any thought to your successor or taking a wife?”If you’re wondering how Literally Actually Satan became chief advisor to Emperor of the United States, well for hundreds of years, the other guy’s been helping, it’s in the oath of the president. Emperor Thinklebopple decided that maybe the.
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